Whoever Could it Be?
by FauxPoesFoes
Summary: Takes place during 'The Third Lorelai' in the first season. Rory thinks that Tristan isn't over Summer. She couldn't be more wrong. What happens when she learns why he acts the way he does? Tristan has a secret and its a sad one. TRORY
1. Time to Tell the Truth?

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gilmore Girls or any of its characters. If I did, there would never be weeks at a time without fresh episodes.

**So, here is a new story under a new pen name! I also write under the name GGluvr1987, but I for some reason had to create this pen name! I know, I'm strange! Anyways, please enjoy and review!**

"You told her?" Rory asked incredulously.

"I didn't know it was a secret." Tristan replied. He looked both confused and guilty at the same.

Rory sighed and said, "Why would you tell her?"

"Rory, relax, we tried and it didn't work out. It's not a big deal." Tristan said in a feeble attempt to reason with her.

"It's a huge deal to Paris. And you didn't try, one date is not trying!"

Tristan saw the anger in her eyes and suddenly felt incapable of lying to her. "Look, is it better that I keep dating her even though I like someone else?"

Rory's face softened and more quietly she said, "Oh. I didn't realize." Tristan nodded his head and waited to see what she would do. "So, you're not over Summer yet, huh?"

Tristan gave her a confused look, and upon realizing how naïve Rory truly was, he smirked and gave a slight laugh. This girl really has no idea, he thought. "No, Rory, it's not her."

"Oh, so you've moved on to your next weekly girlfriend? Wow, that was fast, even for you." Rory was well aware of Tristan's reputation, but she didn't think that even he was capable of moving on that quickly.

Tristan actually smiled, not smirked, at her and said, "I definitely wouldn't call this fast. I think this is the longest I have ever been interested in a girl before."

Rory stood for a moment, unsure of what to say. Tristan DuGrey has a crush on a girl? Was that even possible? Did he actually have some feelings hidden somewhere in that arrogant facade? "Well, I'm impressed Tristan. In that case, I will leave you alone. But in the name of our newfound friendship, could you please apologize to Paris?"

"Newfound friendship, huh? Sure Mare, I guess I can do that for you."

Rory smiled awkwardly and said, "Thanks."

She turned to walk away, but Tristan said, "You're not even a little bit curious?"

Rory tiled her head in confusion and said, "About what?"

"The girl." Tristan said simply.

Rory took a step towards him and said, "You know what, Tristan? I don't think I want to know. It will just be all that much depressing to watch you dump her after you've gotten what you want."

Tristan's tone turned angry as he said, "What's that supposed to mean Mary?" He emphasized the word Mary, causing Rory to scowl.

"You know perfectly well what that means Tristan." Rory said, trying to remain calm. She never expected Tristan to become so defensive. It wasn't as if they had ever had a conversation together that didn't consist of insulting the other. It was their thing, if you could even call it that.

Tristan stepped forward and took hold of Rory's elbow, pulling her closer. "You seem awfully concerned Mary. Why do you care?"

Rory wretched her arm away from him and said, "I care about all the helpless girls that you treat like vending machines."

Tristan frowned for a minute, but quickly replaced it with an evil smirk and said, "Oh, I don't pay them. In fact, they should pay me for my services."

"You really are a heartless bastard, aren't you?" Rory asked in a disgusted voice. She took another step away from him and looked into his cold blue eyes. Tristan's eyes were the most interesting ones she had ever seen; at times they were the most beautiful shade of blue she had ever seen, and then other times they turned dark with emotion. It was during the rare times that he gave her a sincere gaze that she could see the difference from what she saw day after day. They almost always had a wall in front of them; doing their job of keeping people away.

Tristan placed his hand on his chest in mock hurt and said, "Ow, Mare, that hurt right here."

"Goodbye Tristan." Rory said and turned around and walked back towards her desk, leaving Tristan staring at her back. That definitely had not gone as he had planned; instead of telling her the truth that he has been dying to get out, he made her hate him even more. If that was even possible, he thought as he returned to his desk.

"Okay people, let's get to work! This has to get done today!" Paris shouted as she returned to the classroom closely followed by Madeline and Louise, who shot Rory death glares.

Tristan looked across the room to give Rory a sympathetic smile, but she frowned and turned her head. "Gilmore, do you have more brilliant ideas?

"Uh, I…" Rory started.

"You know what, why don't you just leave the thinking to me from now on. You don't seem to have the best judgment." Paris said coldly. Rory decided it wasn't the best time to battle her, and just kept quiet.

The group had spent the following half-hour obliging Paris as she barked out orders. Tristan and Rory avoided each other's eyes, and did their best to stay as far away from each other as possible. That didn't last long, however, when Paris said, "Gilmore and DuGrey, since you two are such great friends I've decided to give you the job of combining everyone's individual work. And I don't want some crappy copy and paste job, so make sure you actually put some thought into this."

A horrified look grew on Rory's face and she said, "Paris, do you really think that's the best idea?"

Paris snorted and said, "Hmm, you're talking to me about good ideas? Interesting, really."

Rory sighed and said, "I just meant that you are such a perfectionist, I thought you would feel better doing it yourself."

"Nice try, cupcake. I've made up my mind, now get to work."

Tristan silently thanked Paris and said, "Uh, Paris, it's already 4 o'clock, I don't think we're going to get this done in time."

"Well, I guess you and Gilmore will just have to meet up later to finish it then." Paris stalked off with a satisfied smile on her face. Tristan was doing a little happy dance in his head, and Rory was cursing silently to herself.

"Great, just great. Just what I needed to make my day even worse." Rory said, as Tristan walked towards her.

"It won't be so bad Mary. I happen to have excellent typing skills."

Rory brought her head into her hands and said, "Let's just get this over with as quickly as possible, okay?"

"Whatever you say, Mare." Tristan said. If she knew what he was really thinking, she would have definitely slapped him. This was the perfect opportunity for him to spend some time with her, and he wasn't about to waste it.

**So, yes, no, maybe so? Please tell me what you think and whether I should continue! Thanks for reading and please, please review!**


	2. Stop Making Me Think So Much

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything to do with Gilmore Girls or its characters.

**I just have to say a big huge thanks to all of you who reviewed! I really appreciate you guys giving my new story a chance! I hope you enjoy the next chapter!**

"Come on, Tristan, I don't want to be doing this all night." Rory said, annoyed at the sight of Tristan lounging lazily with his feet on the computer desk.

"Relax, Mare, I'm just taking a little break. We've been at this for 3 hours." Tristan eyed Rory carefully from his close position. She was sitting at the computer typing while his feet rested at the side of the keyboard.

"Yeah, I've realized." Rory muttered to herself.

"Try not to sound so excited." Tristan said sarcastically. He knew that they could have finished hours ago if it wasn't for his lack of participation. It was beginning to become difficult for him to think of reasons to prolong his time with her.

Rory sighed and looked up from her typing to say, "Could you, I don't know, do something?"

"I'm supervising. And I must say, your typing skills are not up to snuff."

Rory let out a loud groan and turned around in her swivel chair. "You know what, Tristan? I think this would go much quicker if you just left. I can handle doing it by myself, since that's what I've basically been doing anyway."

Tristan pulled his feet off the desk and sat up. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'll help." His goal was to spend some time with Rory, but he didn't want to make her hate him even more in the process.

"Fine. You can take this stack of articles." Rory handed him several papers and turned back towards the computer.

Tristan moved to the computer next to hers and began typing. For several minutes, all that could be heard was the noise of the two keyboards. Rory couldn't help but be surprised that Tristan was actually doing work. Risking the silence, she said, "Wow, you actually can type. It's a miracle."

Tristan's fingers paused and he said, "I resent that, Mary. Just because someone is good looking doesn't mean they can't be good at other things." He wiggled his eyebrows at her and she sighed.

"Why is it that everything with you has to be dirty?" Rory asked.

"Hey, I didn't say anything. That was your assumption." Tristan said, smiling at the blush that grew on Rory's face. It was so easy to make her uncomfortable, and he loved the reactions that he could get from her.

"You know, I'm sorry that I even opened my mouth." Rory continued typing and refused to even look at Tristan.

Tristan watched her for a minute and then said, "No, I get it. I'm not comfortable with silence either."

Rory laughed and said, "Somehow, that doesn't surprise me."

"Oh, because you know me so well?" Tristan asked playfully.

"I'd like to think that there is more to you than meets the eye. For your sake." Rory said seriously.

Tristan stopped typing once again; he was at a loss of what to say in response. For years he has been the arrogant, self-centered jackass to everyone. It was just easier for him to let everyone think that he didn't give a damn about anyone except himself. Why is it that Rory Gilmore can see past his bullshit?

Tristan's voice became more serious and he said, "You and me both."

Rory turned her head to look at him, surprised at his response. She tried to look him in the eye, but he was doing an excellent job dodging her gaze by looking at the computer screen. She opened her mouth to speak, but shut it upon realizing that she had no idea what to say to him. Thankfully, her cell phone rang, giving her an excuse to turn away.

"Hello?" She said into the phone.

"Hey, hun, where are you?" Lorelai asked.

Rory glanced at the clock on the wall and said, "Oh my god mom, I'm so sorry. I got stuck working on this project."

"Paris, huh?"

"How'd you know?" Rory asked.

Lorelai laughed and said, "Who else would keep you there for hours on a weekend?"

"Good point. Well, I'll be home as soon as I can."

"Do you need me to come get you? Didn't the last bus just leave a few minutes ago?"

Rory sighed loudly and said, "Oh no! You're right."

Tristan turned towards her and gave her a questioning look. On the other line of the phone, Lorelai said, "Hello? Rory!"

"Oh, sorry mom." Rory hadn't realized how long she was just sitting there, looking at Tristan.

"Did something pretty walk by?" Lorelai asked, amused at the tone of her daughter's voice.

Rory turned so she was no longer facing Tristan and said, "No!"

"Okay, I believe you. So, is there someone there that can give you a ride? Paris, maybe?"

"No, Paris isn't here to give me a ride. She left me here all by myself with Tristan." Rory said, trying to keep her voice down.

"Ah, now I get it!" Lorelai said teasingly.

"Mom, geeze! Don't even think that!" Rory turned a bright shade of red, something that definitely was not lost on Tristan, who was now contently watching Rory.

"Fine, we'll talk about this later. Now, about that ride…" Lorelai started to hint.

"Mom, I think you better come get me."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I can't just invite myself into someone's car." Rory said, trying desperately to end the conversation. Despite herself, she had started to raise her voice, and she heard Tristan clear his throat.

"I can give you a ride, Mare." He said.

"Oh, see? He'll give you a ride! I'll see you later, hun!" Lorelai said excitedly and then hung up before Rory could respond.

Rory sighed and shut her phone. She warily looked over at Tristan, who was surprisingly already back to work at his computer. She walked back over to her computer and sat down. "Are you sure it's okay if you give me a ride? Stars Hollow is kind of far."

"No problem, Mary. It's the least I can do for making you stay here so long."

Rory couldn't help but think that Tristan was just full of surprises. He sounded completely serious about wanting to give her a ride home for genuine reasons. "Umm, thanks." She said and went back to her typing.

Half an hour later, they both hit save and switched off their computers. "Ready?" Tristan asked as he gathered his bag and jacket.

"Yeah." Rory said and followed him out of the classroom.

Rory sat nervously in Tristan's car as he drove towards Stars Hollow. Neither had said a word since they left the school building. Tristan, sensing the tension in the car, turned on the radio. Rory was pleasantly surprised by the music that played through the speakers and took a deep breath to relax herself. She unconsciously began singing the lyrics of the song and Tristan said, "So, you approve?"

"Huh?" Rory asked.

"The music. I'm guessing you don't hate it since you are singing along with it." Tristan said, glancing at her from the corner of his eye.

"Yeah, I like it. I'm a little bit surprised." Rory said.

He laughed and said, "Let me guess, you figured me for a hip-hop fan or something?"

"Kinda, yeah." Rory said and then laughed nervously.

"Well, I'm just full of surprises." Tristan said and then turned the music up a little louder.

"Yeah, I'm beginning to think that." Rory said, and then immediately hoped that he hadn't heard her over the music.

He obviously did, however, because he turned his head and gave her a bright smile. "Glad to hear it."

"Why?" Rory asked, her curiosity getting the best of her.

"It's nice that someone is actually taking the time to see what's beyond the Tristan-image."

Rory was once again surprised by his answer and said, "Then why have it?"

"Have what?"

"The Tristan-image; the 'I don't care what anyone thinks because I'm too cool to care' attitude."

Tristan so badly wanted to answer her. He wanted to tell her that the whole purpose of his tiring image was to keep people away. That it was just easier for him to not care, because every time he does, he gets hurt. He wanted to say that he hated having to act the way he does, but he doesn't know any other way to be. Instead, he said, "Because if I don't care, then no one else will."

"Oh." Rory said. She had no idea what else to say; she had definitely not expected that response from Tristan. She thought he would give her some sarcastic comment that made her question ever caring. She was completely thrown by this new side of Tristan, and she couldn't think of anything to say for the rest of the ride home. When he pulled up to her house after the few directions she had managed to blurt out, she simply said, "Thanks" and went into her house.

Tristan pulled out of the Gilmore driveway and headed back to Hartford. There was something about Rory Gilmore that made him question everything about his life. And wasn't too sure if he liked it.

**So, please review and let me know what you think! I may update quicker because I am on spring break and sadly not on vacation. Thanks!**


	3. Its Time to Stop Hiding

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything involving Gilmore Girls.

**So, I'm back! It's been a while, I know. I got swamped with schoolwork and such. So, please read and review! I really need to know what you guys think of the turn the story is going to take in this chapter! Thanks!**

Rory hadn't been in Chilton for more than five minutes on Monday morning before she heard Paris shouting at her from the end of the hallway. "Oh, this should be fun." She muttered to herself as she continued rummaging through her locker.

"Gilmore! Where are they?" Paris shouted, despite having arrived right in front of Rory.

Rory took a step back from the overbearing Paris and said, "Why hello Paris. Good morning to you too. I'm guessing you mean the assignments?"

"No, Brad and Angelina. Of course the assignments." Paris stuck her hand out expectantly and Rory just stared at her.

Paris sighed and said, "Well?"

"They're saved on the computer in the history room, just like you said." Rory shut her locker and began walking towards class. She stopped and sighed when she felt Paris grab her backpack from behind.

"No, they're not! You thought I wouldn't have checked there?

Rory's eyes widened in surprise and she said, "Paris, I don't know what could have happened. Tristan and I finished them on Saturday and hit save. Maybe you should ask him."

"I would, but his majesty didn't bother showing up today." Paris scowled in disgust and then huffed off towards their history classroom.

Rory glanced around the hallway in hopes of seeing Tristan leaning cockily against a locker, smirking at the trouble that he had caused. No such luck. She took a deep breath and decided to do something that she never thought she would do. She walked over to a group of Tristan's loyal servants, also known as his friends, and tapped one named Brian on the shoulder. He turned around and smirked upon seeing Rory. "Well, well, well, what can I do for you little Mary?"

"God, you call me that too?"

"Everyone knows your Tristan's Mary. He never shuts up about you."

Rory had always thought that Tristan and his friends would sit around laughing at her expense. It was good to know that she no longer needed to doubt who the real Tristan was. Noticing that Brian and the rest of his friends were now staring at her expectantly, she finally said, "Um, okay. I was just wondering if you knew where Tristan was."

Brian eyed the rest of the group and said, "If he's not here, then he's at home. I can take you to him if you want."

Quickly, Rory responded, "No, thanks. But I do need to talk to him. Do you think you can give me his number?"

Brian smirked and said, "I'm sure Tristan would love for you to have his number." Rory rolled her eyes as he ripped off a sheet of paper from his notebook and scribbled down a number.

Rory warily took the paper and said, "Thanks." She turned away from the group and quickly walked back towards her locker.

"Any time, Mary!" Brian shouted and laughed with his friends.

Rory thought she hated it when Tristan called her Mary, but hearing Brian say it was even worse; it somehow sounded much more vulgar and condescending. After only a small fight with her locker, she opened it and retrieved her cell phone that she kept there throughout the school day. She had learned her lesson about bringing it in her bag to class after she forgot to turn the ringer off and Lorelai's "Like a Virgin" ringer rang throughout class. Tristan had had a field day with that one; there were many references to her "being like a virgin, touched for the very first time." She blushed at the embarrassing memory and dialed Tristan's number.

Tristan didn't answer after her first attempt, so she re-dialed and finally after many rings, a tired sounding Tristan answered, "Hello?"

"Tristan, where are you?"

"Mary? Is that you?"

"Yes, it's RORY. The history assignments aren't in the computer. Do you know what happened to them?"

"How'd you get this number?"

"Tristan, focus! The assignments, where are they?"

"Whoa, Relax, Mare. I don't know what happened to them. They were saved and that's all I know."

"God, Paris is going to kill us! Well, actually just me since I'm the only one here."

"I'm sorry Rory, really I am. But I have to go."

"Go? Go where? Back to bed?"

Rory heard a click on the other end and slowly brought her phone from her ear and stared at it. That was really strange, she thought. No stupid excuses, no inappropriate remarks. She put her phone away and quickly went to see if she could help Paris. First period started in 5 minutes and she had no idea how they were going to get the assignment that was due in 5th period finished.

Opening the door cautiously, Rory said, "Paris, I talked to Tristan."

Paris looked up from her fast paced work and said, "And?"

"And he doesn't know what happened. We really did save all the work. Maybe the computer crashed."

"Next time try saving it on a disk!" Paris shouted. Rory nodded her head solemnly and realized that she had definitely overlooked that step. It definitely wasn't like her to not make sure to save it separately. Maybe it was because I was too anxious about the fact that I would be riding in a car alone with Tristan DuGrey, she thought bitterly.

The bell rang, signaling the beginning of first period. Rory looked at Paris in silent questioning and Paris said, "I have an exam first period. I have to go. We'll work on this in study hall." Paris grabbed her bag and roughly brushed by Rory.

Rory considered her schedule for the day and realized that she could stand to miss some of her classes. Not that she would ever want to miss class, but this situation seemed to warrant it. Rory sat at the computer and began typing, but only a few paragraphs into it, she stopped and abruptly rose from her chair. If she was going to re-do all this work, then so was Tristan.

Rory grabbed her jacket and ran out of the school. She stopped when she thought of the small fact that she had no idea where he lived. She thought for a moment and then ran back into the school and headed to the administration office. After explaining the situation, the secretary gave her Tristan's address. She made it back outside, where she was grateful that the Jeep was parked. She had been running late this morning and Lorelai insisted that she take the car. Less than five minutes later, she pulled into Tristan's huge driveway.

After banging on the door for several minutes, Tristan finally answered. He was dressed in baggy sweatpants and white wife beater, looking pale and exhausted. She briefly noted to herself that he looked awful, but then remembered her purpose for coming.

"Mare, what are you-" Rory cut him off by pushing him through the door and following him in.

"You are going to help me finish the assignment! Now!"

Tristan couldn't help but smile at her forcefulness and said, "Aren't you supposed to be in class?"

"Huh, I could say the same for you. Now move it!"

Tristan glanced down at his attire and raised an eyebrow at Rory. "Did you happen to notice something?"

"Other than the fact that you are wasting my time? No." Rory said impatiently.

"Rory, there's a reason why I'm not in school today."

"Oh, please enlighten me."

Tristan ran a hand through his already messy hair and said, "You wanna sit?"

Rory placed her arms over her chest defensively and said, "Why would I want to sit?"

Tristan sighed and said, "Okay, don't sit. But I am." He took a seat on the bottom step of the stairs and stared back up at Rory.

"Tristan, what's going on?" Rory asked quietly. The more she looked at Tristan, the more scared she became. He definitely didn't look like his usual self.

"Okay, here goes. The reason that I'm not in school is because I have been throwing up for the past day and a half."

Rory gave him a sympathetic look and said, "Stomach flu?"

"No… Chemotherapy."

Rory slowly backed against the wall and slid to the ground. She felt as though she had been punched in the stomach. "What?" She said, slowly.

"Rory, I have Leukemia. It's not the first time; I had it when I was a kid."

Tears welled up in Rory's eyes and slowly rolled down her cheeks. "I, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry Tristan. I had no idea."

Tristan looked at the pained expression on Rory's face and said, "Hey, its okay. I've beat it before and I can do it again. You don't have to worry about me."

Rory stood up and quickly walked over to Tristan, enveloping him in a huge hug. They sat there for several minutes, just hugging. Rory finally pulled back and wiped her eyes. "No more hiding behind your cocky self, Tristan DuGrey. I'm going to be here for you whether you like it or not, so you better get used to it."

Tristan smiled weakly and said, "I think I can get used to that."

**So, what did you think? I wanted to take it in a different direction and I didn't think that this was done a lot. This subject is really close to me because I have been dealing with Leukemia for a long time now. I hope this does not bother or upset anyone, because its definitely not my intention. **


	4. Changes Aren't Always Good

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything involving Gilmore Girls.

**I just wanted to thank everyone for their wonderful reviews! I was very apprehensive about the last chapter and the plot twist in general, but you guys were all so awesome! I hope you continue to read and review!**

After sitting in silence for over twenty minutes, Rory finally rose and turned to face Tristan. He was resting his head on the banister, desperately trying to look as though he felt okay. The truth was that he couldn't wait for Rory to leave so he could return to his position on the bathroom floor. He didn't wait to upset her, but maintaining composure for this long wasn't exactly easy. Rory stared down at him for a moment and then quietly said, "I'm going to let you get some rest. Do you need help upstairs?"

Tristan let out a weak laugh and said, "You don't have to worry about me. I pretty much have this routine down."

Tristan's attempt at being lighthearted only brought more uneasiness to Rory. The thought of him having a routine of being sick only made her already sympathy-filled face worse. Tristan could never stand seeing this look; the look people give as soon as they hear the 'c' word. He'd never asked for sympathy before, and he wasn't about to start. "Really, Rory, you should go. I'll probably be back in school in a few weeks."

"I'm going to come and see how you're doing after school." Rory said in an overly confident and strong voice.

Tristan sighed and said, "No, don't do that."

Not expecting his reply, Rory stepped back and said, "Why not?"

Tristan covered his face with his hands and shook his head. He had been afraid that this would happen. He knew that Rory would never be able to ignore something like this. She is the type of person that will offer help to anyone if she felt they needed it. At first, the idea of having Rory help him seemed perfect, but the more he thought about it, the more he began to despise the idea.

"I don't need you doting on me because I'm sick."

"You don't have to be so stubborn, Tristan. I don't mind doing it."

Tristan raised his voice as much as his body would allow and said, "Well I do."

Hurt and confusion immediately washed over Rory's face. She had no idea what was going on in Tristan's head. One minute he says he could get used to having her around, the next he is practically pushing her out of his door. Looking at the ground, she said, "Can I ask why not?"

"Do you have any idea what it's like to have someone go from hating you one second to pitying you the next? You would think that I would have done anything to get you to pay any real attention to me, but not this. I don't need any false kindness, Rory. It's the worst thing that you could ever give me."

Rory walked over to his place on the stairs and stooped in front of him, desperately trying to get Tristan to look at her. Tristan shut his eyes and leaned his head back against the delicately carved wood behind him. "It wouldn't be like that, Tristan. I honestly want to help you get through this."

Tristan felt his stomach wrenching and he wasn't exactly sure if it was from the poison coursing through his body or if it was because of Rory. He clutched his stomach as inconspicuously as he could and said, "Please just go home now. I really have to get back upstairs."

He slowly stood, grabbing the rail for support and Rory instinctively grabbed his other arm. Tristan tore his arm away from her and began walking up the stairs by himself. Rory watched as he slowly and clumsily made his way up the huge staircase. Once he was out of sight, she grabbed her car keys and walked outside to the Jeep. Tristan sat in the hallway at the top of the stairs, listening as the front door clicked close and she started her car. He sighed in relief as he bent over and threw up all over his mother's precious burgundy carpet. She wasn't there, so why should he care what she may think. He leaned against the wall to take a rest before he would try to make it back to the bathroom. Before he knew it, he had been there for over two hours, creating a circle of green stains around him.

Rory drove back to Chilton in a dazed fog. None of it felt real to her; Tristan was just playing some cruel joke on her. That's what she kept telling herself over and over again in her mind. She just couldn't bring herself to believe that he really was sick, because if he was, then there was absolutely nothing she could do to make it better. She glanced at the clock in the Jeep and realized that it was already third period. Paris was going to kill her, but right now she just couldn't bring herself to care.

"Gilmore, where the hell have you been? The project is due in two hours!" Paris shouted at Rory, who simply walked past her and continued on her way to her locker.

Of course, Paris quickly followed after her and watched as Rory gathered her books in her backpack. "And just where do you think you are going?"

"Home." Rory slammed her locker shut and walked towards the entrance of the school.

Rory vaguely recognized Paris screaming her name down the hallway, but she kept walking. She started the Jeep and drove the 45 minutes back to Stars Hollow. When she walked in the kitchen, her mother wasn't there as she expected. After all, it was only 12:00 and Lorelai would still be at work for hours. Rory started the coffeemaker and did the only thing she knew to do in this situation. She opened her laptop and logged on to the internet, typing 'Leukemia' into the search field.

After searching through numerous websites, Rory closed the laptop in defeat. The information that she found wasn't exactly calming her nerves. Despite the fact that she had no idea which type of Leukemia Tristan had, she did manage to learn that the cancer basically makes him open to all sorts of infections and complications. The treatment is long, painful and not always successful. The information on chemotherapy alone made her want to shudder. She now had a better idea of what he was going through, but it didn't ease her mind to think of him sitting alone in that empty house. The good news, however, was that there is a very hopeful success rate for chemotherapy patients. If only she could allow her mind to believe that after everything she had just finished reading.

Tristan had woken up to a maid gently tapping his shoulder. "Mr. DuGrey, would you like me to help you to your bed?"

Tristan was about to decline, but realized that the chances of him getting there alone were very slim. After all, this woman was paid to help, so why not accept it? "Yeah, thanks."

The heavyset maid was able to wrap her arms around Tristan and help him walk to his bedroom down the hall. Once he was settled, she returned with a bucket, which she placed on the other side of his huge king sized bed. Tristan quietly thanked her and she shut the door, leaving him alone to sleep. Tristan would periodically awake and roll over to the bucket, then return to his dream disturbed slumber. His dreams had begun in the 6th grade, during his first bout with cancer. He always awoke with a start, desperately trying to forget. Most of his dreams he could not remember, but the ones that he could made him wish that he didn't.

**So, this is a little bit shorter and not a ton of dialogue. I just wanted to give you guys a little bit more information on what is going on in Tristan's body and mind. Please let me know what you think! Thanks!**


	5. Guilty Anyone?

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything involving Gilmore Girls.

**Sorry, sorry, sorry! I know I haven't updated in quite a while! I had finals and then I had the fun task of packing everything up and coming back home for the summer. Now I have my parents breathing down my neck about finding a job and so on… Anyways, thanks so much for all the great reviews and I hope you continue to read!**

Rory rolled over in bed and groaned when she looked at the clock and saw that it was only 4:00 in the morning. Try as she might, she just couldn't fall asleep, and she had a pretty good idea why. After Lorelai had gotten home, Rory had spent hours dodging her questions about the phone call she had received from Chilton about Rory skipping. Instead of telling her mom the truth, she simply insisted that she did not feel well, which in turn made Lorelai force Rory to go to bed early. Every time Rory closed her eyes, Tristan's thin, pale face flashed before her eyes. Even worse, his words were repeating over and over again in her head.

_I don't need any false kindness, Rory. That is the worst thing you could ever give me. _

At first, Rory couldn't help but be angry at his brush-off. Why wouldn't he want her help through this? But, the more that she laid awake thinking about it, the more the guilt began eating away at her. Tristan was right; she had gone from vocally despising his presence to pitying him. She tried to think what it would be like to have someone do that to her. Suddenly, she had an image of Paris coming to her house and sitting at her sick bedside going over missed homework. Rory shook her head in disgust and shot up in bed. How could she possibly help him?

Tristan sat up in bed, clutching the plastic bowl on his lap. He was so tired, but between his dreams and having uncontrollable nausea, it really wasn't worth trying to sleep any more. He briefly considered watching TV, but reconsidered when he realized that the remote was on the other side of the room. Glancing around, he saw a card sitting on his night table. "Get better soon, son. Love, mom and dad," he read aloud and then threw it across the room.

"What a crock of shit." Over the years Tristan had met many fellow cancer patients at the oncology office, all of whom were accompanied by loving parents and siblings. His were off cruising around the world, having a hell of a time. His neglectful parents only gave people more reasons to give him that 'aww, poor kid' look that he despised. He had learned, however, to brush it off as nothing. He didn't need anyone but himself.

Rory got out of bed a few hours later and went to school. She wasn't able to concentrate in class all day with Tristan's empty seat serving as a constant reminder of the pain that he was going through while she sat in a classroom full of kids that considered school the most painful thing of all time. Her curiosity about her fellow classmates' concerns about Tristan was answered when she heard a group of girls talking.

"Tristan got suspended again, huh? I wonder what he did this time."

Rory silently shook her head and used every ounce of restraint to stop from turning around and giving the girl a mouthful. If Tristan didn't want anyone to know, then she had to respect that. She sat thinking to herself about how many times Tristan had been "suspended" in her time at Chilton and couldn't help but wonder how many of those suspensions were actually real. As soon as the final bell rang, she gathered her things and began walking towards her bus stop. Instead of stopping, she kept walking until she had reached the DuGrey mansion that was only a mile from school.

Taking a deep breath, she grabbed the intricately designed door knocker and waited. A moment later, a maid answered. "May I help you?"

"Um, yes. I was hoping that I could see Tristan." Rory said unsurely.

The maid gave her a weary look and said, "Sorry miss, but that isn't possible. Mr. DuGrey isn't feeling up to visitors."

The maid gave her a tight smile and began to close the door, but Rory shot her arm out and said, "Wait, please. I won't stay long… Tristan would want to see me." She knew that she was lying, but she really didn't care.

Maybe it was the look of desperation in Rory's eyes, but the maid relented and opened the door wider to allow Rory inside. She pointed up the stairs and said, "Second door on the right."

Rory gave her a thankful smile and said, "Thank you."

She slowly headed up the stairs, very much aware that she was walking up to Tristan DuGrey's bedroom; a place she never thought she would be. She stood in front of his door for a good 5 minutes before she mustered the courage to knock. A moment later, she heard a tired sounding Tristan say, "Come in Louisa."

Unsure if she should continue, Rory hesitantly opened the door and peeked her head in. "Um, it's Rory actually."

Tristan immediately scrambled to place his bucket under the bed and said, "Rory, what the hell are you doing here?"

Rory blanched slightly at his tone, but stepped into the room and shut the door behind her. "I came to say that I'm sorry."

"For what?" Tristan asked as he pulled himself up into a sitting position.

"For making a horrible situation worse." Rory said quietly. Tristan opened his mouth to interject, but she held up her hand and continued. "I had no idea that trying to help you would upset you, but I understand now and I promise I will leave you alone."

Rory turned to leave, but stopped with her hand on the door handle when she heard Tristan say, "You just don't get it, do you?"

Still facing the door, Rory said, "I'm trying to Tristan."

Tristan sighed and said, "And I appreciate that, really I do, but there are just some things that you can't make better."

Rory turned around and said, "I never said that I could make you better Tristan. I just wanted you to have someone to help you through it. I've never had cancer, but I can say that it is something that no one should have to go through alone."

Rory was on the verge of tears and quickly turned towards the door. "Wait!" Tristan said.

Rory turned around, wiping at the tears that were coming down her cheeks. She couldn't believe that she was crying. Oh yeah, she was being a huge help to Tristan; He didn't need a side order of guilt right now.

Tristan motioned for her to come closer, and Rory walked towards his bed, stopping a few feet away. "Rory, come here." He patted the spot next to him on his huge king size bed. Hesitantly, Rory sat down as gently as she could and looked at her hands, waiting for him to say something.

Finally, he said, "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't be taking all this out on the one person that cares enough to even show up."

Rory couldn't help herself and said, "About that… Tristan why does everyone think you're suspended? Don't any of your friends know?"

"A few of them know, yeah. They don't say anything though. I think they prefer to just ignore it."

"So, you're really not as big of a badass as you would like us to think, huh?" Rory said, trying desperately to lighten the mood.

Tristan laughed quietly and said, "Oh, trust me, Mary, I am."

Rory laughed and hit him on the shoulder. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I didn't think, I…"

Tristan shook his head in half amusement and half annoyance. "Rory, it's okay, I'm not going to break."

"Right, sorry." Rory said. She just couldn't seem to say anything right. She was so afraid that she was going to upset or hurt him.

"It's okay, I'm kinda used to people walking on eggshells around me."

Rory smiled slightly and looked around the room, not knowing what to do in the uncomfortable silence. Tristan's room looked just as she had always thought it would. There were posters of bikini clad women, trophies, and rock posters that Lane would actually approve of. The one thing that she had never imagined was the teddy bear sitting right in the middle of his bed. She smiled and said, "Why Tristan DuGrey, I never would have thought I would see this in your room."

"Been thinking about it a lot, Mary?"

Rory blushed and quickly said, "No, I just…"

Tristan laughed and said, "Relax Mare, I was just kidding. And by the way, this bear was given to me by a little girl named Abbie that I met at the hospital."

"That's really sweet." Rory said, surprised.

Tristan shook his head solemnly and said, "Yeah, she was a sweet girl."

Rory's face fell and she said, "Was?"

Tristan nodded and said, "Yeah, she gave this to me right before she passed away. She told me that it kept her safe and that since she wouldn't need it heaven, I should let him keep me safe."

"Oh, Tristan, I'm so sorry." Rory unconsciously grabbed Tristan's nearby hand and gave it a squeeze.

Tristan gave her hand a squeeze back and said, "Thanks."

"So, I guess I should go. I told the maid that I wouldn't bother you for too long."

Tristan smiled and said, "I'm actually surprised that she even let you in. She never does that."

Rory smiled sheepishly and said, "Well, I lied little."

"Oh yeah?"

Rory nodded and said, "I told her that you really wanted to see me and she fell for it."

Rory stood and wiped at an imaginary wrinkle on her skirt and said, "Well, I hope I'll see you in school soon."

"Yeah, me too." Tristan said.

He watched as Rory moved towards the door and he said, "Rory?"

"Yeah?"

"It wasn't a lie." Tristan said, smiling at her.

Rory smiled brightly back and said, "Good," before finally making her way out the door.

**So, I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. Not a whole lot happened, but I think that Rory and Tristan made some progress here. It is really difficult for me to get out what is going on in Tristan's head. And I know that he just keeps coming off as stubborn and defensive, but this was pretty close to home for me. So, please review and let me know what you thought and thank you so much for reading even after my little hiatus! **


	6. An Unwelcome Announcement

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything involving Gilmore Girls.

**Hello all! Thanks again for all the reviews! They were oh, so kind! Please continue to read and review!**

After Rory had closed the door, Tristan fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. For some reason, he was able to get the best sleep he had in a long time. His mind seemed to calm down and he no longer had nausea looming over him. He woke up the next day and smiled to himself when he didn't have the usual morning reflex to throw up. This is going to be a good day, he thought.

"Hey kiddo, is everything alright with you?" Lorelai asked as she stared curiously at her daughter who seemed to be in a staring contest with her pop tart.

Rory shook her head and said, "Mom, Tristan is sick."

A confused expression came over Lorelai's face and she said, "Since when does the evil Chilton King being sick bother you?"

Rory glared at her and said, "No, mom. He's not just flu sick. He has cancer."

"Oh." Lorelai really wasn't sure what else to say.

Rory sensed her mother's uneasiness and said, "Don't worry, mom. I just needed to finally say it. Admit it, I guess."

Lorelai rubbed Rory's back and said, "I really am sorry about Tristan. But I don't think you should let yourself get beat up so much about it."

"How can I not?"

"Hun, I know that you are a sweet kid who is always trying to help people, but up until a few days ago I thought you hated Tristan. I can tell that you have been really upset the last couple of days and I guess it just surprises me." Lorelai watched as Rory's blank expression grew to one of anger.

"Just because I wasn't his friend doesn't mean I want to see this happen to him!" Rory stood and walked across the kitchen, crossing her arms over her chest.

Lorelai looked at her daughter and could see that she was on the verge of tears. I think I may not know the whole story here, she thought. She stood and wrapped a reluctant Rory into a hug and quietly said, "I'm sorry, hun. I didn't mean it like that. If you ever need anything, you know that I'm here, right?"

Rory nodded and pulled back. "Thanks, mom." She offered Lorelai a small smile in an effort to show her she was okay. "I guess I should get going to school, considering I missed the other day and all."

Lorelai smiled and said, "That's my girl."

Rory sat on the bus, staring out the window at the passing trees. Even her own mother had noticed that it was strange that Rory was reacting so strongly to Tristan's cancer. The more she thought about it, the more Rory herself realized that she didn't understand why this hurt her so much. Sure, it always hurt her to know of someone else's pain, but this hit her way too close to heart. Why was she letting his sickness invade her every thought and action?

As soon as she stepped off the bus, Rory could tell something was going on at school. Everyone was huddled into groups and passing around pieces of paper. When she made it to the entrance, a girl handed her a sheet of paper and said, "Awful, isn't?"

Rory looked down and to her horror, she saw what everyone in the entire school was so interested in. The paper read: _Please keep Tristan DuGrey in your thoughts as he struggles with Leukemia. Help us send our best wishes with cards and visits._

Rory sighed in anger when she saw Paris Gellar's name on the bottom right-hand corner. She shook her head in disbelief when under her name, it said _Chairman of the "Students Working Together to Fight Cancer"_ group. She quickly made her way to Paris' locker, where Paris was busy talking to a group of students. Rory pushed her way through the students and loudly said, "Paris, what the hell is this?"

"Geeze, Gilmore. I know that you hate DuGrey and all, but I didn't think you would object to this." Paris said as she stepped back and into a locker to try to get away from a very angry Rory.

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe Tristan wouldn't want the entire school to know his business?" Rory asked angrily.

Paris scoffed and said, "And just what do you know about what Tristan wants. I'm just trying to help him here."

"Oh, yeah. Getting all these kids to show up at his house with cheesy get well cards is really going to help him. You know what, Paris? You really should have thought this one through first." Rory threw the paper at Paris and turned and walked away.

Paris and the rest of the students just looked on shocked as the quiet Rory Gilmore stormed down the hallway. Rory went to her locker, grabbed her things and headed for her safe haven: the library. She sat at a table and placed her head on the table, closing her eyes. If Tristan had hated her sympathy, how would he like an entire school's worth? She really couldn't believe that Paris had done this, and even worse, how much it increased her own guilt over the "help" that she practically pushed down his throat. All she could feel was an overwhelming feeling of sympathy and respect for Tristan and all that he had to deal with in addition to the sheer misery of actually fighting cancer.

Tristan was lying on the couch, watching a movie when he heard the doorbell ring. His immediate reaction was that it was Rory; and he really hoped that it was her. After yesterday, he couldn't help but think that it was good for him to have her in his life. He couldn't tell for sure, but he had a feeling that she was the reason he was able to sleep so soundly last night. Something about her presence brought a calming feeling over him. He heard the maid going towards the door to answered it, and waited to see if it wasn't actually Rory. The minute the door opened, he knew it wasn't Rory.

"Trissy! Oh my god!" Tristan groaned upon hearing the high pitched, overly sweet voice.

He didn't bother trying to sit up and said, "Christina, what are you doing here?"

Christina, a former flavor of the week of Tristan's, came and sat on the edge of the couch next to Tristan. "I came to see you, of course. How are you feeling?"

Tristan gave her a confused look and said, "I'm fine… Why?"

"Oh, you are so brave. Sitting here with cancer and lying so you won't worry me."

Tristan's eyes almost bugged out of his head. How did she know about his cancer? He knew that the grand total of 3 people at school who did know wouldn't tell anyone. Wait, make that 4 now that Rory knows, he thought. But there was no way that Rory would tell someone, right? "How did you know about my cancer?" He asked.

Christina rummaged through her bag and pulled out the paper from school and held it out to him. "Don't worry, baby. Everyone is going to help you through this."

Tristan groaned as he read the sheet and then groaned even louder when he got to the bottom. "What's wrong? Does it hurt?" Christina asked in a concerned tone.

Tristan crumpled the sheet of paper and threw it across the room in anger. "No, I'm fine. But I think you better go now, I really need to get some sleep." He said, praying that she would take the excuse and leave him the hell alone.

"Oh, of course." Christina stood and gave him a kiss on the forehead and said, "Get better soon, babe."

"Uh, thanks." Tristan said. He laid back down, listening to the sound of Christina's heels as they got further away.

"Love the hat, by the way. Very GQ." Christina said just as she left the room.

How stupid could this girl be, anyway? He couldn't believe that she had said it. He honestly couldn't tell whether she thought he was wearing the hat to be stylish or if she was smart enough to pick up on the only real reason he would be wearing a snowboard hat inside a house in the middle of spring. He heard the front door close and sighed in relief that she was gone. He gripped his forehead as his headache grew at the anticipation of how many more classmate visits he had in store for him. He really was going to kill Paris. He thought for a second on how she even knew about the cancer. He had hoped that it was his gossipy mother who blabbed to Paris' mom and that it wasn't Rory. Rory definitely wouldn't do something like that. He had no idea why, but he felt like Rory was the only one that he could trust.

Rory once again walked to Tristan's house and wasn't surprised when she saw 4 rather expensive cars lining his driveway. She got to the door, and couldn't decide if she should still go in with all those other people there. Just as she was about to turn to leave, the front door swung open and out walked Paris. "Gilmore, what are you doing here?" Paris asked defensively.

"I came to see Tristan. What else would I be doing here Paris?" Rory said in an annoyed tone. She was fighting the urge to slap the smug look off of Paris' face.

"I just thought you hated him, that's all. But he just said that he doesn't want anyone else coming to see him. So you better leave." Paris tried to sound in control of the situation, but Rory could tell just from Paris' body posture and voice that Tristan had really laid into her about her little school project.

"I think he might want to see me." Rory said, trying desperately to sound confident. She was pretty sure that he would want to see her. After all, he said that he wanted to see her yesterday.

Paris laughed and loudly said, "And why would he want to see you? You really think he's up for teasing his little Mary right now?"

Rory smiled as an idea popped into her head. "As a matter of fact, that's exactly what he wants to do. Tristan really is such a teaser. If you could only hear some of the things he says to me."

"What?" Paris asked angrily. Just then, Tristan slowly walked up behind the two girls and wrapped his arm around Rory's waist.

"You here to cheer me up, Mare?" Tristan asked as he rested his had-covered head on Rory's shoulder.

Rory smiled victoriously at Paris and said, "Absolutely, Tris. Someone has got to after what Paris over here did." Rory grabbed Tristan's hand and led him into the house, neither saying another word to Paris before shutting the door behind them.

As the door shut, Rory nervously dropped Tristan's hand and said, "Thanks, she was really giving me a hard time."

Tristan smiled and said, "No problem. I actually rather enjoyed it."

Rory laughed and said, "You would."

"Hey now, is that any way to treat a cancer patient?" Tristan asked as they made their way into the family room and laid down on the couch.

Rory faltered for a moment and then remembered that she didn't want to treat him like a breakable object and said, "Well, yes, actually, that is how I would usually treat you. Did you want me treat you any differently, because I could have sworn we had a discussion about this…"

Tristan held up a hand and said, "Nope, you know I don't. I like that you are starting to feel okay with being normal around me."

Rory smiled and sat next to him. "Well, not completely normal. After all, there are no classrooms here for me to duck into to get you to stop pestering me."

"Thanks." Tristan said as he smiled at Rory's teasing face.

Rory coked her head in confusion and said, "For what?"

"For making me smile."

**So, before you all say that what Paris did was a little extreme, I have to say that this actually happened to me. It was extremely unwanted and embarrassing and it was done by someone at my school very similar to Paris. So, I hope that makes it all seem a little more realistic. Anyways, please review and let me know what you thought!**


	7. Your Eyes Are More Than Pretty

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything involving Gilmore Girls.

**Once again, you reviewers are totally awesome! I really don't deserve you! Thanks so much for all of the support! I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

Rory smiled as she looked across the dark room, the TV casting shadows against Tristan's sleeping face. Rory had convinced Tristan that he hadn't lived until he saw Willy Wonka, but he had fallen asleep within the first half hour. She quietly crept around the room, searching for a blanket. Once she found one, she carefully placed it around his balled up body. She stood, leaning over him and just stared at the peaceful look on his face. His hat had fallen off in his sleep and Rory inwardly gasped at the absence of his tousled blonde hair. Before she knew what she was doing, she lightly ran her hair over the small patches of soft hair.

"Do I look sexy bald?" Tristan asked groggily, his eyes still closed.

Rory pulled back her hand like a child caught with their hand in a cookie jar. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

Tristan slowly opened his eyes and smiled at the wide-eyed expression on Rory's face. "It's okay. What time is it anyway?"

Rory clicked on the nearby lamp and glanced at her watch. "Oh, wow, it's 9:00, I should really go home. My mom is probably freaking out."

"Yeah, you're right." He slowly pulled himself up and went to run his hand through his hair; a nervous habit that he was never able to overcome, even when he didn't have any hair.

Rory saw the look of frustration and embarrassment on Tristan's face and reached out her own hand and ran it over his head. "You know I do like you bald."

Tristan raised a thinning eyebrow at her and said skeptically, "I'm sure."

"No, I do. It really makes your eyes stand out."

Tristan smiled at her and said, "And I always thought that my eyes were so gorgeous that they stood out on their own."

"They are, but now they just look…" Rory started. She had always noticed his eyes, but it was because they were always looking over her, overtly trying to make her uncomfortable. Now, she could see real emotion in them; almost as if he let some shield down, letting her see his true feelings. She could see the pain in her eyes, and it broke her heart.

"Tired, lifeless?" Tristan offered, his voice full of bitter sarcasm.

"No! Tristan, no. I was going to say that for the first time, I feel like I'm actually seeing you without the cockiness hiding what is really there."

Tristan looked into her eyes, which he had always loved. Hers were always shining, whether it be from happiness or anger. He loved that when he looked into her eyes, he felt like he knew her. When someone looked into his, all they saw was a scared boy, trying desperately to keep anyone from really looking; from seeing all the fear and pain that hid there. "It had always worked. No one ever suspected anything real could ever be going on with me. Well, no one, except you."

Rory slid closer to Tristan on the couch and said, "Sorry to disappoint you, but I never fell for your little show. I could tell that there was something different about you. I never would have thought that this would have been it, though. And I am so sorry."

Tristan shook his head and said, "Hey, no more apologies for things that you had nothing to do with." A part of him had known that Rory didn't fall for his game. That's probably why he tried so hard to get her attention; he just needed someone to finally take the initiative and realize that he didn't want to be alone through this anymore.

"Okay, I'll try to remember that." Rory smiled brightly at him, trying to distract him from the serious tone their conversation had took.

Tristan had found that her smile was contagious and he couldn't see her smiling without following suit. "I think you should probably go home now. I don't want your mom coming over here. If she's anything like you, I wouldn't stand a chance."

Rory laughed and said, "Oh, normally you would have to be afraid of Lorelai, but I seriously doubt she would hurt a cancer patient."

Tristan rubbed his chin in mock thought and said, "Hmm… That's very good to know."

Rory lightly hit him and said, "You will never change, will you?"

"Not if I can help it. Now, shoo!" He waved his hand towards the door and watched as Rory walked towards the door. He knew she understood why he didn't walk her to the door; he wouldn't be leaving this couch for quite some time.

By the time Rory got home, it was 10:30 and she knew that Lorelai wouldn't be happy. As soon as she opened the kitchen door, she heard, "Rory, oh my god, where have you been?"

Rory looked at Lorelai, who was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and offered her a weak smile. "Sorry, mom. I was at Tristan's and I lost track of time."

"Rory, you really have to remember to call me. I was this close to calling my mom, and you know that's bad." Lorelai took a sip of her coffee as Rory sat next to her.

"I'm sorry, I won't forget again."

Lorelai smiled and said, "Well, I guess you could be doing worse things that keeping someone with cancer company. Unless, you are comforting him in a way that I don't want to know about, because then we-"

"Mom, no! Don't worry, me and Tristan are just friends. Plus, I don't think that would really be appropriate considering his condition."

Lorelai pointed a finger at Rory and said, "Aha! So you have been thinking about it!"

Rory laughed and grabbed the mug away from Lorelai. "No more coffee for you. Come one, let's go to bed."

The next day at Chilton, Rory ripped down as many of Paris' posters as she could find. She could hear all of the students still talking about Tristan, and it made her want to scream. Sure, they were all just worried about him, but it was hard to listen to when she knew how much Tristan despised the sympathy of others. Some of the things that she heard were awful, though. Many girls were worried about how he would look without hair and the guys were discussing how it would affect "his performance with the ladies." Rory just went through the day, shaking her head. If only they knew what Tristan was really going through; the things that he had to worry about. Who really cares if he has hair, so long as he is alive?

After school, Rory once again went to Tristan's house. She couldn't even imagine going through a day now without seeing him. She knocked on the door, excited to see him. After a few more knocks, the maid finally answered, looking exhausted.

"I'm sorry, miss. But I really don't think today is a good day for visitors." The maid told Rory.

Rory's face fell and she said, "Why? What's wrong?"

"It's just a bad day, that's all. They come and go." The maid gave her a weak smile and slowly shut the door. Rory quickly knocked again and the maid answered, not looking nearly as friendly as before.

"Miss, please just go home." She said, clearly frustrated.

Rory pushed the door open further and ran up the stairs to Tristan's room. She flung the door open and quickly shut it, locking it behind her. She leaned against the door, slightly out of breath and looked towards Tristan's bed.

"Tristan, are you okay?" She practically whispered. She saw Tristan, bundled up in his covers, not moving. She moved closer until she was beside his bed and felt her heart drop to her knees when she saw how pale he looked. There were beads of sweat on his forehead and he was breathing heavily in his sleep. Rory grabbed his hand and almost jumped at how cold it was.

"Tristan, please just say you're okay." Rory watched as he still didn't move and she felt tears begin to run down her face. He looked like he was in so much pain; he didn't even look like Tristan.

"Mary, geeze, can't a guy get some sleep around here?" Tristan said, his voice coming out as more of a croak. He opened his eyes and slowly moved them up to look at Rory.

"Oh my god, you scared me." Rory said, sighing in relief.

Tristan groaned as he shifted and he said, "What, you didn't think I was dead, did you?" He tried to smirk, but it just ended up looking like a grimace.

The tears came more quickly and Rory said, "Tristan, that's not funny."

"I know, I'm sorry. Hey, come down here."

Rory sat down beside his bed and placed her chin on his mattress, staring at him, her eyes full of tears. Tristan reached out and wiped a tear away with his thumb and said, "You know Mare, maybe for your sake you should just listen to the maid from now on."

"What?" Rory choked out.

"I don't want you to see me like this. I don't want to see you cry, because it breaks my heart." Tristan said slowly, staring at her watery blue eyes.

"Okay, if that's what you want." Rory said dejectedly.

"Rory, it's not that I don't want to see you, because I do, but I don't think I can take you crying on top of everything else." Tristan spoke gently, hoping that he wasn't hurting her feelings. He loved her visits, and he definitely didn't want them to stop.

Rory slowly nodded her head in understanding and said, "How about if I promise no more tears? Then can I stay?"

Tristan didn't believe her for one second that she would be able to not cry again. Hell, he even knew that he wasn't beyond crying over the course of the next few months. But, he saw the look of desperation in her eyes and couldn't stand to upset her. "Sure, Mary."

Rory smiled and said, "Thanks."

Tristan reached out and ran a hand through her hair, waiting for the rest of her tears to subside. "Well… I'm not really sure what to do from here. I won't be much for entertainment and there might be some things that you aren't going to want to see."

Rory knew what he meant; it probably wasn't easy for Tristan to let her see him like this. She truly appreciated the trust that he gave her, and she wanted to show him that he made the right decision by letting her stand by him. "No worries. I can easily entertain myself and you for hours."

"Oh, yeah?"

Rory smiled and said, "Yeah. After all, I am a Gilmore."

**So, what did you think? I have to admit, writing part of this made me cry a little. I know you are probably wondering what the heck part made me cry, but I really can't explain it. So, I hope you liked this chapter, because it hit me close to the heart. Please review and let me know what you thought! **


	8. Trust Me, I'm a Mary

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything involving Gilmore Girls.

**I don't know how many times I can say it, but thanks so much for the reviews! Some of the things that you guys say are really great and I really appreciate everyone that is continuing to read this story. Anyways, enjoy!**

"And now I only see him a few times a year." Rory finished her story and Tristan nodded, slowly taking in every word she had said.

"Wow, I never would have expected anything like that for you. I guess there really is no one with the perfect life." He didn't know how, but somehow Rory had ended up basically telling him her entire life story. Tristan could see the masked hurt in her eyes as she recounted her mom getting pregnant at 16, her father coming in and out of her life, and the strained relationship between her grandparents and her mom.

Rory nodded and said, "Yeah, well, I really shouldn't be complaining. I'm not the one with cancer."

"No, I know what it's like to have a weird family situation and I completely feel for you. Having cancer was just the icing on the cake for me. There's nothing like sitting alone in a hospital to make you realize that your parents don't give a shit about you."

Rory frowned at the mental image she now had of Tristan being sick and alone. If she ever had the opportunity to meet Tristan's parents, she was really going to let them have it. "Tristan, I'm sure they care more than you think. Maybe they just don't know how to deal. That's what some people do, they run and avoid things that they can't handle."

Tristan inwardly laughed at the thought of his great and powerful father being afraid of something. "I would believe you if it hadn't been this way my entire life. Your father may be physically gone, but mine has kept me at a distance, even when we're in the same room, since I was a little kid. I don't even think we've ever had a conversation that didn't consist of him yelling at me for one reason or another."

"What about your mom?" Rory asked cautiously.

Tristan sighed and said, "She's civil when she's around, but she's mostly just following my dad wherever he goes. She's not the warmest person in the world."

Rory stared sadly at Tristan, trying to imagine everything he has gone through. He tried so hard to seem like none of it affected him, but she could see in his eyes and hear in his voice that it hurt him. If at all possible, the guilt that she had been carrying around for the past few days increased even further. She now knew that every time Tristan was teasing and following her that he was just desperately in need of someone to care, but he had no idea how to do it. He grew up in a household without love, and as a result, he not only didn't know how to make a connection with someone, but he feared it.

"I'm so sorry, Tristan. I can't even imagine what that's like. My mom and I are best friends who talk about everything." Rory silently reminded herself to give Lorelai a hug the minute she got home. She had always known that she was lucky, but now she realized just how great her mom really was.

Tristan smiled and said, "Yeah, I can tell by the way you talk about her. You get so happy and excited. I'd like to say that I'm not jealous, but I have to admit that I am."

Rory moved closer to Tristan on the bed where the two were lying with their backs propped up against pillows and grabbed his hand. "Well, you have me, which is almost as good. We are both Lorelai's."

Tristan smiled and said, "Thanks, Mary." He squeezed her hand lightly and added, "You know, I just can't imagine calling you Lorelai. No offense."

Rory laughed and said, "None taken. I love the name, but no one ever calls me anything but Rory. Well, besides you."

"Well, at least I'm original." Tristan smirked and lifted his hat off, wiping the sweat that had risen from his fever; it always made his head itchy, but he didn't want to take it off. He placed the hat back on his head and adjusted it as Rory looked on quietly.

"You know, you don't have to wear that. It must be hot and I've already told you that I like you bald." Rory looked on amused as Tristan played with his hat, considering what she had said.

"Yeah, but you were probably just saying that. You're too much of a Mary to say something mean."

Rory hit him playfully on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I am not that much of a Mary! And even if I was, that would mean that I don't lie. Thus, I wasn't lying about the hat!"

Tristan couldn't help but laugh at the victorious grin on Rory's face. "Well, when you put it that way… I guess I have to believe you!"

Rory nodded and said, "That's right, mister."

Tristan slowly brought his hand to the hat, but held it there. Rory watched as he seemed to be clutching onto the hat instead of lifting it off. "Tristan, seriously…" She sat up and gently straddled him, reaching forward and grabbing his hand away with one hand and pulling the hat off with the other. "There, I win!"

Any other time, Tristan would have been preoccupied with his bald head, but now, all he could think about was the girl that had innocently found herself straddling him. Her face was just inches away from his, and they were staring at each other. After about a minute, Rory seemed to realize where she was and looked down at the hand in her hand, playing nervously with it. Just as she was about to get up, Tristan grabbed her hand and said, "So, my bald head repulses you that much?"

Rory looked up at him, surprised and nervous. "What are you talking about? I just thought it wasn't a good idea for me to be sitting on you. You know, considering that…"

"Oh, trust me, I didn't mind you there. What I do mind is the fact that you are so afraid to come near me. I mean I know I don't look my best, but still…"

Rory shifted uncomfortably, making Tristan pull her closer. "Tristan, I…"

"You what?" He whispered.

Rory's breath hitched as she could feel his breath on her neck. Her mind was reeling; she had no idea what to do. She was sitting on top of Tristan, inches away from his face and all she could do was think about kissing him. But, the other voice in her head was telling her to ignore how cute he looked, even while pale and thin. He was really sick, after all, and she shouldn't be thinking about things like this.

"I should go." She finally managed to get out.

Tristan didn't realize his grip and just stared back at her. "No, I need you to tell me the truth. Are you afraid to touch me?"

Rory looked at him, silently pleading him to let her run. When she saw no sign of him giving up, she said, "Yes, I am."

Tristan sighed and let go of her hand, grabbing his hat from her other hand and placing it back on his head. "Okay, you can go now. Run away from the scary bald kid." His voice was angry and bitter, as he was desperately trying to cover the hurt that he felt.

Rory ripped the hat off of his head and threw it across the room. Tristan opened his mouth to protest, but Rory covered his lips with her hand. He stared at her questioningly and she said, "Shh, I'm going to talk now and I need you to listen. I mean, really listen. Got it?"

Tristan nodded his head and she removed her hand. "I am in no way afraid of you, no matter how self-conscious you feel about your hair. I know it might be difficult for you to believe, but I was actually thinking about how cute you looked. I was yelling at myself, saying that I shouldn't be thinking things like that when you're sick. I shouldn't be sitting on top of you wanting to kiss you. It's not right."

"What?" Tristan said in complete surprise.

"You heard me." Rory said, knowing that she didn't have the courage to repeat herself.

Tristan grabbed her chin and brought her face up to look at his. She looked away shyly, but he turned her back towards him and slowly kissed her. It was short and sweet and when he pulled away he was smiling. "It is definitely right."

"Tristan, I really don't think-" Rory started, but was interrupted by Tristan placing another kiss on her lips. She pulled back and said, "Are you sure about this?"

Tristan smiled and stroked her hair, staring into her wide, unsure eyes. "Rory, I have wanted to kiss you again since Madeline's party. I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life."

Rory smiled sheepishly and said, "So, I was the girl you liked, huh?"

"Mary, you can be so naïve sometimes. Of course it was you." Tristan smiled bigger as he saw Rory smile happily.

Rory gently pulled him into a hug, and Tristan wrapped his arms around her as tightly as he could. Rory rested her head on his shoulder and whispered, "You're sure?"

Tristan placed a kiss on her cheek and said, "You're not going to break me, Rory. If anything, you're going to make me want to be better that much quicker."

"Well, then, I guess I have to be with you now." Rory smiled and buried her head in Tristan's shoulder, not ready to let go of him just yet.

**What did you think? I thought it was about time for something to happen between them. And doesn't anyone else think that Chad Michael Murray looked fantastic in One Tree Hill with hardly any hair? I honestly prefer him that way, so I can only imagine him being completely bald definitely wouldn't be a bad thing. Anyways, please review and let me know what you thought!**


	9. Not Everything Can be Fixed

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything involving Gilmore Girls.

**Sorry for the lack of updating. Things have been interesting in my life lately and it has kind of been taking a toll of my writing. I started the fabulous world of my Microbiology summer course, 3 hours a night, every day of the week. And to top that off, I went to my doctor and let's just say that what I found out isn't exactly going to make this story fluffy. Okay, never mind, sorry for rambling and thanks for all of your reviews! **

"The world knows very little of its greatest heroes."

-Don Ward

_Stronger Than Cancer_

Lorelai sat staring curiously at her daughter, who was humming happily to herself as she made coffee. "Somebody's cheery this very early morning."

Rory turned away from the coffeepot and said, "Yup, I am. It just seems like a great day, doesn't it?"

"Well, I might agree if it wasn't 6:30 in the morning." Lorelai said, resting her head on the kitchen table.

"Oh, so I guess it's too early to tell you my news. I'll just come back when you're more awake." Rory grabbed her mug and began walking into her room.

"Hey, get back here!" Lorelai yelled. Rory stopped at her doorway and turned around, smiling brightly.

"I knew that would get your attention." She plopped onto the seat next to Lorelai and said, "Tristan and I kissed yesterday."

"What?"

Rory nodded eagerly and said, "It was really great. Well, once we got past the whole 'him thinking his bald head repulsed me' thing."

Lorelai looked at her questioningly and said, "Whoa, hold on a second. You and Tristan kissed? Are you sure that is a good idea?"

Rory's face fell at the question that had been running over and over in her head since last night. As much as Tristan said he wanted it, she still hadn't totally accepted that fact. "Well, I was thinking that too, but Tristan seemed to think it was a good idea."

"Of course he does! He wouldn't give up an opportunity to kiss you, even if he is sick!" Lorelai said, only half joking.

Rory smiled and said, "I know, but it's different than you think. I want to be there for him and help him through this."

Lorelai placed an assuring hand on Rory's and said, "I know you do, kid. I just hope you're prepared for this." Lorelai loved that Rory seemed so happy, but she couldn't help but think that Rory was getting in over her head. Just because Tristan said that them being together was a good idea didn't make his cancer magically disappear. She was afraid that Rory really didn't know what she had in store for her.

Rory nodded, knowing what Lorelai was thinking. She had to keep reminding herself not be naïve about this entire situation. "I hope I am too."

After school, Rory quickly made her way over to Tristan's house. After knocking several times and receiving no answer, she finally tried turning the knob. Seeing that it was locked, Rory decided to ring the door bell. When there was still no answer, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed the house phone. The phone rang and was finally picked up by the answering machine. "You have reached the DuGrey residence. We aren't here at the moment, so please leave your name and number and we will get back to you."

That's weird, Rory thought, hanging up the phone. Figuring that he was at the doctors, Rory decided to sit on the front steps and wait. She couldn't help but wonder why Tristan hadn't told her yesterday that he would be gone. Rory shrugged off the thought and pulled her book out of her backpack. After about five chapters, she finally saw a black limo pull up the driveway. She smiled and stood up quickly, wiping her skirt. The door opened and she saw the maid get out and reach inside the limo. Nothing could have prepared Rory for what she was about to see.

The driver had retrieved a wheelchair from the trunk and was assembling it while the maid was gently pulling Tristan out of the car. As soon as Rory saw Tristan's face, her heart dropped. He was the palest she had ever seen him, with dark circles around his sunken eyes and he was grimacing in pain. The driver picked him up slightly and placed him in the wheelchair and the maid began leading him to the house. Rory ran towards them and said, "Tristan, oh my god! Are you okay?"

Tristan groaned and said, "Rory, what are you doing here?" The maid gave Rory an impatient look and continued pushing Tristan closer to the house.

"What do you mean? I always come here after school. I wanted to see you." Rory spoke quietly, walking beside the wheelchair and staring down at him.

Tristan was aware of the fact that Rory was staring at him and he slowly brought his eyes up to hers. "You should go."

"Tristan, no. I'm not going anywhere." Rory began following them through the front door, but was stopped by the maid.

"Mister DuGrey needs his rest." She then shut the door, leaving Rory pounding on it desperately. Tristan hated that she was out there, begging for him to let her in, but he just couldn't bear to let her see him right now.

Once he finally made it up the stairs and into his bed, Tristan grabbed the bucket beside him and quickly got rid of whatever little food he had been able to eat earlier that day. He placed it beside his bed and as loudly as he could muster, he shouted, "Fuck!" He then rolled over, clutched his stomach and let the tears roll down his cheeks. His entire body felt hollowed out and useless; his head pounded and even blinking his eyes as the tears flooded them caused him to wince. His thoughts drifted from the pain that was coursing through his body to that of Rory's shocked face. He knew that he hurt her by telling her to leave, but he knew that Rory would be hurting even more had he let her see what was happening to him. He couldn't stand the thought of anyone, especially her, looking at him when he was this weak.

Rory finally stopped knocking and dropped her arms to her sides weakly. She grabbed her bag and began walking to her bus stop, tears streaming down her face. She wasn't sure which hurt more; seeing Tristan in so much pain or being ordered away. He had told her that there were things that she wouldn't want to see, but she thought that he was going to let her decide that for herself. Wiping furiously at her eyes, Rory took a deep breath and told herself that if this was what Tristan wanted, then she would support his decision. She had no idea what it was like to go through everything Tristan was, and she had no right to question his reasoning. Still, she wanted more than anything to be there by his side, offering comfort in any little way she could. He was clearly suffering, and it broke her heart to think of him being all by himself in that lonely house.

When Rory got home, Lorelai was standing in the kitchen talking on the phone. Lorelai quickly dropped the phone the minute she saw the distraught look on Rory's face. She had never seen her daughter look so sad and scared. "Rory, what's wrong?"

Rory dropped her bag on the floor and quickly pulled Lorelai towards her. Lorelai gently rubbed her daughter's shaking body as she sobbed quietly. After a few minutes, Lorelai heard a muffled, "I can't do anything to help him."

"Shh, Ror, it's going to be okay." Lorelai whispered softly.

Rory pulled away and said, "For the first time in my life, I feel like it isn't."

Lorelai looked sadly at her crying daughter and said, "Rory, you can't say that. It may seem like that now, but everything will be okay."

Rory's tears continued to fall more quickly and between her sobs she said, "Why can't I just make it better? Why?"

**It's a little bit short and I'm sorry for that. Please review and let me know what you thought. Thanks!**


	10. Scared Little Boy

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything involving Gilmore Girls

**Okay, I know that I am horrible for not updating in so long! I just didn't have the time to devote the proper amount of attention to writing this. All the reviews were awesome once again, so a huge thanks to you all!**

**P.S. I feel that I should issue a dark and gloomy warning on this chapter.**

He didn't want to deal with it anymore; nothing in the world could be worth all this pain. The more he thought about it, the more he couldn't think of anything that he would be missing out on in life. A loving family… not in the least. Caring friends… not since the first grade. A goal for the future… only to make it to the future, and that was becoming less and less important every day. A sense of achievement… nothing. He had spent years listening to hospital social workers drown on and on about how he was doing the most important thing he could: fight for his life. That was all that mattered; who cared about what would happen in your future if you only had a 50 chance of getting to it? He had given up on caring what would happen, because it was far too painful to imagine a life that he wasn't certain he would want, or be able to live.

Tristan's eyes flew open as he shook away the images that had just invaded his sleep. The same images that had been reoccurring since he was just a kid fighting something that he didn't even understand. He had thought that they would stop by now; he had spent years pushing them out of his mind. There had been a few years where he was simply a healthy, normal teenage boy. The dreams of a scared little boy had been replaced with those of a hormone-driven teenager. Unfortunately, after hearing those familiar words from the doctor two months ago, the scared little boy had resurfaced and his slumber was plagued with the images that a terrified, lonely little boy had imagined.

"_Tristan, it's time."_

_The small, wide-eyed, bucktoothed, version of Tristan looked up curiously at the figure in front of him. "For what?"_

_The figure took Tristan's small hand in his and slowly led him away from his brightly colored hospital room. He was wordlessly led through the hospital corridors, looking at the rows of people staring sadly at him. Smiling brightly and waving, Tristan glanced towards the person leading him. "What's wrong with them?" He asked innocently._

_He received no answer, just a stronger pull at his arm. He suddenly felt cold, standing beside his leader in his hospital gown. They had stopped walking, and Tristan looked around confused. The figure slowly extended his arm and pointed to a spot in front of them. The hand slowly disappeared, followed by the rest of the mysterious figure beside him. Tristan screamed and looked desperately towards the spot that he had been directed to. A large group of people were gathered, standing under a large oak tree. He quickly ran towards them in hopes of finding someone to help him. _

_As he neared the group, he slowed down and quietly crept up to the still and silent adults. One man was talking, but he couldn't make out what he was saying. He softly tapped the leg of the man he was standing near, but he didn't seem to notice. Deciding he needed to tap harder, Tristan began hitting the man's leg repeatedly with his whole hand. "Excuse me, mister?" The man didn't so much as turn his head away from the direction in which they all seemed to be staring. Giving up on that attempt, he pushed his way through the crowd to get a glimpse at what they were all so interested in. _

_In front of him was a large hole in the dirt with a wooden box poised above it. Tristan looked from the box to the adults, trying to figure out if this was some sort of game he didn't understand. If it was a game, it definitely wasn't something he wanted to play. Everyone was staring at the man dressed in black robes with a book in his hand. Starting to become really annoyed at being ignored, Tristan shouted, "Hey, what's going on?"_

_No one said a word or looked at him. Desperately flailing his arms, Tristan tried to get someone's attention. Looking around, he began to recognize some of the people in front of him. There was his Aunt Cynthie and Uncle Landon, holding hands and looking sad. His grandma was in the front, nodding solemnly. Tristan looked around expectantly for his parents, but he didn't see them anywhere. _

"_God's plan isn't easily understood, but he saw a greater purpose for our young Tristan. We can only take comfort in the fact that he is in a better place and that his suffering has ended."_

_Tristan ran up to the man speaking and said, "I'm right here! I didn't go anywhere!"_

_The man lifted a lever and the box slowly started going into the ground. Roses were thrown on top of it, coloring it until it could no longer be seen. The group slowly walked away, whispering softly to each other. "How could Alex and Christine miss this?"_

_Tristan's face lit up at the sound of his parent's names. "What did they miss?" He shouted at the retreating figures. Soon, he was standing by himself, rain beginning to pour down on him. He instinctively hugged himself to keep warm, but soon realized that he didn't feel the slightest bit cold. Shrugging, he walked dejectedly back to where the group of people had just vacated. Sitting against the tree, he looked around sadly for someone to help him. All that he saw was the pounding rain drenching the muddy pile in front of him. He noticed that there was a large object sticking out of the ground and slowly walked towards it. Tears mixed with the rain running down his face as he fell to the ground, fingering the words in front of him. He was all alone and no one was coming for him._

_**Tristan Janlen DuGrey**_

_**5-12-85 – 8-24-94**_

_**Beloved son **_

_**Taken too soon**_

Tristan placed his pillow over his face and screamed as loudly as he could. He pulled the pillow away and threw it across the room. "I'm not that little kid anymore, damnit!"

Looking around the room angrily, Tristan eyed the roses that had been placed in his room by the maid, who said that they were from his parents with best wishes. "Who the fuck sends their sick teenage son roses?" He rubbed his eyes harshly, wiping away every last bit of moisture that had formed there.

It seemed like every time he had his dream, he became more and more angry. Angry at his parents for not being there, angry at himself for being so clueless and most importantly, angry at the fact that this particular dream kept coming. He knew that he had no right to be angry at his parents for something that never happened, but it wasn't hard for him to imagine them not showing up to their own son's funeral. "God, I need to stop letting this get to me so much. How pathetic am I?"

He always woke up even more bitter than usual from his dream, and the fact that he couldn't close his eyes without having it was causing his anger to spin out of control. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm himself down. It wasn't a good idea to get all worked up right after a brutal round of chemotherapy. Tristan was clueless as to how to take his mind off things. There was no way that he could get out of bed on his own, and there wasn't a whole lot he could do about it. Figuring that the false sympathy cards surrounding him couldn't get worse than his parents', he began to flip through the large amounts of envelopes the maid had delivered.

There was a particularly inappropriate card from Christina that promised him a certain kind of reward for getting better. Shaking his head, he moved on to the next one.

**Tristan,**

**I sincerely hope that your health improves soon. If you should need any help, please don't hesitate to ask.**

**Paris**

Tristan couldn't help but laugh at that one; count on Paris to be that cold and unoriginal. After a few more cards, Tristan was beginning to become discouraged once again. They all said pretty much the same thing, and he had even started to count the duplicate Hallmark cards. Just as he was about to dump the pile, a purple envelope caught his eye. Ripping the envelope open, he immediately knew who it was from. The handmade card could only have come from one person.

**Tristan,**

**I know that you are going through a hard time, and life pretty much couldn't suck any worse right now. I understand that you need to cope with this in your own way, but please remember that I'm here to help it suck less. If anyone can get through this, it's you. I really miss you and your bald head. And other things…**

**Don't forget that we Gilmore girls have a very effective way of distraction. If you need a laugh or just someone to talk to, you know who to call. **

**Love,**

**Rory**

Tristan smiled as he lightly ran his fingers over Rory's handwriting. Leave it to Rory to just be honest and admit that not everything can be fixed with a sunny and cheerful card. He knew that he should let her help him cope with this; the time he had spent with her had made him feel infinitely better. And having her distract him wouldn't be so bad either, especially if he could get the chance to kiss her again. Man, no matter how crappy I feel, I still can't help but think about kissing Rory, he thought.

He really and truly needed to swallow his pride this time; he had done enough back and forth with her, and she deserved to be treated better after all that she had done. Vowing that he was finally going to let his guard down enough to let her in, he took a deep breath and grabbed the phone from the nightstand beside him. Dialing the number that he had long since memorized, he waited nervously as it rang.

"Hello?"

Tristan faltered for a moment at the sound of her voice. "Uh, Rory?"

"Yes?" Rory immediately knew that it was Tristan and she anxiously waited for his response.

"It's Tristan, in case you didn't know." He heard Rory laugh nervously and he continued. "Do you think you could come over?"

"Yes!" Rory said, a little bit too enthusiastically.

Tristan laughed and said, "Thanks for the enthusiasm. I'll see you in a bit?"

"Yup, see you in a bit." Rory hung up the phone and quickly went to find Lorelai to tell her where she was going. She couldn't remember the last time she was this nervous; she had no idea what Tristan was going to say to her. Every time she had thought she had him figured out, he pushed her away. She had never felt like more of a failure than when she had seen Tristan wheeled into the house and the door slammed in her face. She didn't want to fail him anymore.

**Okay, so that felt really long to me. And I'm sorry there was hardly any Rory in it. Have I freaked you all out with the dream? I warned you that this wasn't exactly going to turn fluffy. Again, everyone has their own experiences with this, and I am simply taking from what happened to me. Anyways, please review and let me know what you thought!**


	11. Stubborn No More

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything involving Gilmore Girls.

**Okay, I am HORRIBLE for not updating this story and I'm sure most people have given up and lost interest. Trust me when I say that I had a good reason for not updating, but I don't want to dump my problems on all of you. So, again I am SO sorry for not updating and if you are willing to read this after all this time, THANKS! Your reviews have been wonderful and I do really appreciate them!**

Rory stood in front of Tristan's front door, breathing deeply out of excitement and exhaustion from running her way up the expansive driveway. Taking a deep breath and flattening her hair, she knocked quickly and waited nervously. After a minute or so, she figured that Tristan wasn't up for answering the door and tried the handle. Seeing that it was unlocked, she slowly opened the door and ducked her head inside.

"Tristan, can I come in?" She laughed to herself at the question; she had entered his house numerous times without asking. But, this time was different. Tristan had sounded like he had something to tell her, and she was hoping that was a good thing.

"I'm up here, Ror!" Tristan shouted from upstairs. Rory smiled and made her way up the stairs. Once she reached his room, she stood nervously in the doorway, returning the smile Tristan offered her.

"You gonna come in? I promise I'm not contagious." Tristan smirked as Rory gave him her 'stop being a smart ass, this isn't funny' look. He knew that she had a difficult time realizing his need of sarcasm to get through this. But, it was how he dealt with it, and he preferred it over the crying and bitterness that had been forcing its way into his mind lately.

Rory slowly stepped inside the room, stopping after she had only gotten a foot away from the door. He smiled at her nervous expression; she was biting her lip in that adorable way that he couldn't resist. "So, you wanted to talk to me?" She asked, purposely avoiding eye contact. She couldn't bear to look in his eyes if he was about to brush her off for good.

Tristan knew that she was afraid of what he was going to say, and he honestly didn't blame her. He had been so back and forth with Rory that he really couldn't believe that she was still putting up with him. It was time for him to finally show her how grateful he was for all of the support.

"Come on, sit down." He motioned towards the spot next to him on the bed and waited for her to slowly sit. She stared at her wiggling hands in her lap and just waited for him to start.

"Rory, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for being such an ass. I've never had anyone like you in my life, and I guess I just didn't know how to trust you. But, I've realized that I was just being defensive and was cheating myself out of something really great." He lowered his head to try to catch her eyes. Finally, she raised her head and their eyes locked. Tristan smiled and grabbed her hand, stroking her thumb lightly.

"You don't know how many times I've wanted to just give up. It would be so easy for me to just say fuck it and crawl into a hole of self-pity. But, you've made that impossible. Every time I feel myself getting down, I think of you and it makes me want to fight. And I know that it won't be easy, but if you're still willing, I would really like to have you with me through this." Tristan let out a deep breath and self-consciously looked at Rory.

Rory sat silently in amazement at what she had just heard. Finally, Tristan wanted the support that she had so badly wanted to give. She couldn't find the right words to say to respond, so she just sat staring at her hands. Thinking the worst of her silence, Tristan dropped his head in disappointment. Of course she wouldn't want to put up with his bullshit any longer. Why would she?

Hearing Tristan sigh brought Rory out of her thoughts. She saw his defeated stance and placed her hand under his chin, bringing his face up to look at hers. "Hey, look at me."

Tristan did as he was told and Rory saw what looked like the start of tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry for all the silence… I was just processing everything you said."

"Yeah." Tristan said sadly.

"No more doom and gloom, mister. I was just thinking about how long I've waited for you to say those things. " Rory gave him a reassuring smile, which Tristan eagerly returned.

"Really?"

Rory nodded and said, "Really. Of course I want to be here for you. It has been killing me to be think of you all by yourself, and not just for your sake, but for mine also. I really care about you, Tristan and I want to spend time with you."

Tristan couldn't help himself and broke into a goofy smile. "I care about you, too. And trust me when I say that spending time with you is the only high point of my life." He practically whispered the last part, but he knew that she had heard him.

"That's going to change soon, Tristan. You'll get through this and there will be plenty of things worth living for."

"Nothing could beat having you in my life." Tristan said without missing a beat.

Rory smiled brightly and grabbed his face, pulling him in for a deep kiss. Tristan eagerly ran his hands through her hair and brought her as close as possible. Rory smiled against his lips and he did the same. Pulling back for air, she pressed her forehead against his, smiling as she stared into his blue eyes. "Nothing, huh?"

Tristan gave her a small peck on the lips and said, "Nothing."

Rory pulled him into a hug, resting her head on his shoulder as she whispered, "Thank you for trusting me and letting me help you."

"Thanks for giving me the opportunity to trust you." Tristan said, still holding her.

Rory finally pulled back when she heard her cell phone ring. Smiling apologetically, she checked the caller I.D. and answered the phone excitedly, "Mom!"

"So?" Lorelai asked eagerly.

Rory smiled and said, "Cancel the order!"

"Oh, thank god! I'll see you later, then?"

Rory ignored Tristan's questioning face and said, "Yup, I'll see you later!"

"Bye sweets."

Rory hung up the phone and smiled as she looked as Tristan's confused face. Without hair, his 'raised eyebrows' look was quite amusing. "Order? What order?"

Rory laughed and said, "Oh, the wallowing food. You know, pizza, candy, and ice cream?"

"Wallowing food, huh?" Tristan asked, running his hand over his bald head and looking uneasy.

"Yeah, it's a Gilmore Girls rule that my mom has for when…" Rory stopped herself, not wanting to admit what she thought the real reason was for her coming there.

"For when you get dumped?" Tristan asked softly.

Rory simply nodded, looking very uncomfortable at the situation they had found themselves in over some stupid junk food.

"I'm so sorry, Rory. I never wanted to make you think that I would do that. I'm such an ass for putting you through all this." Tristan raised his voice, yelling in frustration at himself.

Rory gently rubbed his shoulder and said, "Hey, don't worry about it. You're going through a lot and I understand. Besides, it's not like you would have been dumping me anyway."

"Huh?" Tristan asked, confused.

Rory quietly said, "Well, it's not like I'm your girlfriend or anything." She mentally swore at herself for letting that slip. She hadn't wanted to bring up the fact that whatever their 'relationship' was, it was very undefined. He had enough on his mind already without adding this.

Tristan had never even thought of that, and he felt like an idiot for it. "Rory, I never actually asked you, but I figured you knew how I felt."

"Yeah, I do, but I know that you don't need a relationship right now."

Tristan sighed and shook his head. "Rory, didn't we just go over this? I told you that you are the only good thing in my life. So, stop being so cautious and just accept it."

She smiled and said, "So, you think I'm too cautious, huh?"

Tristan laughed and said, "Uh, you think? I mean come on, I may have cancer, but you're acting as if the entire world has to revolve around that fact."

"Okay, you're right. I'll try to work on that." She pulled him towards her for another kiss, this time much more hungrily. A few moments later found her sitting on his lap, Tristan's hands on her waist.

Tristan pulled back when he felt her hands graze under his shirt. "Whoa, what are you doing?"

Rory placed her finger over his lips and said, "Throwing caution to the wind."

He smiled wickedly and took her lips with his once again. They finally pulled apart, Rory cuddling up next to him. "I think I like the adventurous Rory." Tristan said as he softly ran his hands through her hair.

"Me too." Rory smiled and yawned, falling asleep only seconds later. Tristan felt all of the exhaustion that had always seemed to disappear when Rory was around take over once again and quickly fell asleep also.

**So, I highly doubt that anyone is still reading this, but if you are please, please review! After not updating for so long, I need to see if anyone is still reading or now. And if you are, thanks so much and I really, really appreciate it! THANKS!**


	12. Scary Truth

**Okay, once again I apologize for not updating for over a month! But, I also want to say that it does NOT mean that I don't care about my story! Dealing with a full-time college load, practically living at the hospital at night AND having my big brother home from Iraq to spend time with was all a little bit much. But, I really do care about this story and want to keep continuing. So, once again, I'm sorry, really, really sorry! And if you are still reading this: thank you so, so much for it! Anyways, I'm done rambling now!**

Rory took a deep breath and opened her eyes, trying her best not to lose it. She grabbed Tristan's hand and gave him the biggest smile she could muster. Tristan saw her uneasiness and gently stroked her hand, saying, "Ror, I told you that I'm fine. You don't need to be here for this."

"No, I'm staying. You are not going through this alone." Rory said determinedly, giving him a reassuring smile to show that she was fine. Truthfully, though, she couldn't stand the helpless feeling that she had felt the minute she walked in the door. Pushing her fear and the tears that so desperately wanted to escape her eyes away, she focused solely on Tristan's pale, but still gorgeous, face.

Tristan looked at her through weary eyes, fighting to keep them open. "Tell me something."

"Like what?" Rory asked, eager to distract the both of them.

"School, Lorelai, anything." The forced lightheartedness in his voice caused Rory to smile; he was being brave and she knew it was mostly for her benefit. She couldn't help but marvel at how wonderful he was through all this. The sheer fact that she was sitting next to him at this moment was a big deal for her. She knew that it wasn't easy for him to allow her to see him like this. The trust that he put in her was the best feeling she had ever had.

"Well, Paris is actually fighting the school board to make lunch optional, that way she can fit in more classes." Rory laughed just thinking about the wrath that was Paris.

Tristan laughed weakly and said, "That's Paris for you. I remember in elementary school when she refused to go outside during recess because she said it was a pointless waste of time."

"Seriously?"

Tristan nodded, a small smile on his face. Silence fell over them and all that could be heard was the sound of the beeping machine beside the bed. Rory wracked her brain for something to say, but her attention kept returning to the one place she didn't want it to go. Finally bringing her glance away from Tristan, who had seemed to fall asleep in the silence, she allowed herself to look at the object that was causing her such distress.

A large IV bag filled with a horrible looking color of chemicals hung from the stand next to Tristan's bed. Her eyes slowly followed the path down from the bag and to the place where it was attached into Tristan's arm. The stream of liquid coming through the IV seemed to be moving far too quickly for the amount that still remained in the bag. Every second that passed seemed to drain more and more out of Tristan. Watching quietly for several minutes, Rory choked back sobs at the sight of Tristan's face. She actually needed to keep looking at the monitor to her side to be sure that he was still breathing; he looked so lifeless.

"Are you Tristan's girlfriend?" A kind looking nurse asked, startling Rory.

Rory wiped helplessly at her wet eyes and couldn't help but feel proud when she said, "Yes, I'm Rory."

The older woman gave Rory a warm smile and said, "It's wonderful to meet you, Rory. I'm Denise. I have known Tristan since he was just a little guy."

Rory nodded mutely, thinking of how many times Tristan must have been in this very room. "He's okay, right?" Rory asked uneasily.

"Oh, don't worry, sweetie. He's just fine. The chemo takes a lot out of him, but he's strong." Denise moved about the side of the bed, checking the IV that was taped to Tristan's arm. Rory could see from Denise's face how much she cared for Tristan and it comforted her to know that even if he didn't have his parents all these years, he at least had someone here for him.

Rory sighed and said, "Okay, thank you. I guess I'm just not used to this. I'm trying so hard to be strong for him. I know that he doesn't really want me to see him like this."

Denise looked up from the chart that she had been writing on and said, "Oh, honey, it's wonderful that you're here. It has been killing me all these years to see him go through this alone. He needs you here, no matter what he says."

Rory smiled, small tears rolling down her cheeks. "Thank you."

"You take care of him, okay? He's a special one." Denise gave Rory one last comforting smile and then quietly exited the room.

Denise's words had caused all of Rory's attempts to maintain composure to fail and she began crying, holding her hand over her mouth to keep from sobbing. All attempts for her to calm down failed when she looked at Tristan's face; the grimace that was there, even in sleep caused Rory's sobs to come out angrily. He didn't deserve this and she wanted nothing more than to rip the needle out of his arm and take him home. She knew she couldn't, because this torture was supposed to help him. All she could do was sit staring helplessly at the boy who had become her hero without even trying or wanting to do so.

Rory felt a gentle hand on her shoulder several minutes later and soon realized that she had fallen asleep with her head on Tristan's bed. Slowly lifting her head, she came face to face with an awake, but exhausted looking Tristan. "Hey Mare, you okay?"

Rory laughed slightly and said, "I'm supposed to be asking you that."

"Yeah, well we both know that this was harder for you than it was for me." Tristan lightly ran his hand over her cheek, tracing the tried tear marks.

Rory placed her hand over his and said, "How can you say that? You must feel awful right now."

Tristan nodded in understanding and said, "I do feel like crap, but I'm used to it, you're not. I'm sorry this was so hard for you."

"It wasn't hard for me." Rory defended weakly.

"Hmm, so you were just crying because the hospital gets crappy cable reception?" Tristan lowered his head to meet her eyes, staring into them until he got an answer.

Rory smiled and said, "Okay, I admit that it was hard. I hated seeing you in so much pain and not being able to do anything about it."

"Rory, that's not true." Tristan gently lifted her chin to bring her eyes to his once again. Rory tried to look away, embarrassed.

"It's not?" Rory asked, confused and hopeful.

Tristan smiled and said, "You know ever since the first time I came here, I have had the same nightmare when I fall asleep."

Rory nodded, frowning as she thought of the pained expression that had been on his face earlier.

"Well, today I didn't have that dream." Tristan looked as if he was almost on the verge of tears, his face full of gratitude towards Rory.

Rory smiled brightly and said, "You didn't?"

"Nope, and you know what I think?"

Rory just nodded, her face barely pressed against his forehead in fear of hurting him.

"It was because of you." He closed his eyes, sighing contently.

Whispering now, Rory said, "That can't be true."

"Oh, I think it can. It was like I could just feel your presence next to me and I wasn't scared. I slept soundly for the first time in a long time." Tristan reluctantly brought himself to pull his forehead from Rory's, looking her straight in the eye, trying to convince her.

"But your face, it seemed so pained." Rory admitted quietly.

Tristan nodded and said, "Well, my body may have been in pain, but my mind wasn't."

Rory smiled and placed a gentle, quick kiss on his lips. She pulled him into a hug, extremely cautious of the IV that was still inserted into his arm.

"You're amazing, you know that, right?" Rory whispered into his ear.

Tristan gently stroked her back and said, "Funny, I was about to just say the same exact thing."

**So, I was finally able to bring myself to write about the chemo. I spared some of the finer details, both for your sake and I think mine. If you are still reading please review and let me know what you thought! Thanks so much:)**


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